A miLLiOn PiEcEs Of Me. . .

A million pieces of me . . .
Am I really here enjoying my now or is that my imagination? -Not if I’ve chosen to aim for perfection every single time. As I see, perfection simply robes me of that unique, one&only, chance of having a life . . . a life that is by all means imperfect, it does not have all the good stuff that a “perfect” life should be made off, but nevertheless is a life tailored for my needs right now. What’s wrong with that? Nothing. Simply nothingIt’s just a matter of too many expectations, and sometimes even unrealistic expectations of a life. I often get stuck on the start and the endwhat about the middle? What about the nifty-gritty stuff that gets you from the start to the finish line? I call it the glue in the middle that everyone chooses to forget about, the messy bits that no one likes to talk about. The “middle “ stuff sometimes can be hard to digest, especially for perfectionist people like myself. You see, the last 2 months/6 years, have been a crazy roller coaster for me. I moved home like a gypsy, left beloved people waving at airports more times than I can count, changed my friends more often than my underwear, tossed personal favorites like rubbish . . . Boy I feel like there is no ground under my feet to stand on!.  Nevertheless I’m experiencing a new wave of clarity that is liberating and for some is even inspiring.
I am embracing everything about my life as it is now; the start, the messy and turbulent middle and the end bits. I’m already seeing a way through where I don’t have a hundred lives divided up in a million different pieces of me.
Is not easyis not a smooth road to walk on .I continue to berate myself for errors and pat myself on the back for small victories (not often though). I’m learning to be present to enjoy my life with passion.
So much is “all wrong” now, but I’m here and awake and alive to start fresh and stand up tall every time I happen to fallI’ve chosen the now instead of waiting for tomorrow. You see, Tomorrow may never come to many people Do not forget our mortality and, for that reason alone, now is your best time ever!
The “messy” middle isn’t so bad after all and I’m starting to see a way through . . . where I don’t have to conform to anyone’s high expectations of me, including my ownlol
I am almost at a point were my now is my perfect moment . . . and as for my expectations of tomorrow;  I know  that my  “now” is too important to waste it on planning a “tomorrow’ better to be present and enjoy a life that I have in front of me now.
My life still an unspeakable mess that would send anyone over the edgebut I’m hoping to love it anywayalong with all the people and choices that helped me arrive here . . . just on time. How are you behaving in that “messy middle “ space?  Are you kind to others and to yourself? Where are you  right now? Are you present? If not this is your wake up call my cookies! Wake up! ! !
I’d love to hear what you’ve learned about this in the comments



FoOd 4 ThOuGhTs. . .

Good morning my cookies.Happy enjoyable Sunday to you all!
Hey,that can’t be right, is that positive & happy person really me?-Sure is!
I figured, that if got a better attitude towards life,then life will start to get some interesting colors. . .And,did I hear you asking; where is your Mojo now Lila? – It is on vacation still!- but I have a feeling that it is on it’s way back homeIn fact I have a feeling that we both needed a little vacation away from each other. I’m cool with it now!
Sometimes, if you do not know where to go next or what’s to do next, stop everything and let life lead you for a change. Follow the flow; it will all come to you when you are ready to take life by the horns. “When the student is ready the teacher will show up.”Agreed on that too? LoL
Any way, today is my “Food for thought Sunday” and I can hear you asking me; And ?
-And I will give you something to think about, something to enjoy reading(I hope) and a great link to uplift you today.
Shell we begging? Okay?
Yesterday I found this quote from Anne Frank and today I want to share it with you: Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish and What your potential is!”
-Anne frank.Fabulous, don’t you agree?
Here is your food for thought; Do you know how much potential you have to do greatness in this life? Do you? I know that I have to think really hard about this one! sign.
Ya see,we are, by far, our hardest critics,in fact, we are never enough or will ever have enough to be really happy with whom we are  or have in the present moment. . .and our today will be gone empty on the hopes of tomorrow being the ” D-day” for us. Have good news for you too; the “D” day is today.. . . in fact right now!
Do not let the sun go down on you without Going out there and doing all you can do to be happy .being all you can be to be happy and loving all that you can love to feel happy. Gotta  do it kiddo! LoL
Today I also found an incredible blog dedicated to help woman to build their self-esteem. It may or may not be your cup of tea and you will only know if you drop there for a little visit. what are you waiting for?
The blog have a great selection of reading material for all of us and is such a lovely girly place. And when in there,grab a cuppa and a comfy chair and relax will you?So please drop at Self-esteem for a visit, and if it’s not your cup of tea, maybe it can offer some help to a friend, a relative or anyone that you think that could benefit from it.
How about a funny blog to start a great Sunday on a funny side of life? I simply love a good gig ; gotta have them!
Check this one out The Travelling Bra and tell me  later if you enjoyed reading it. . . in fact I know you will have a good laugh..LoL
Enjoy your Sunday!!

“May you be blessed with a day where no one speaks negatively, including you!”


ThInGs I lOvE. ..

1) This book Here simply fabulous
2) My memories ofMaldives, of the salty sea air and the gentle waves lapping at my toes that always cleared my mind and made me feel overflowing with joy. Thank you dear God for the last 5 years I had inside this  paradise

3) Summer and Spring, gotta love them.

4) The wordJoy.  I just truly love this word. I like finding a new word every week that uplifts my soul, and this week is Joy.

5) I really love the idea of kindness, of being kind to others and to yourself, I came across that video  at Kind Over Matter and honestly love it so much I have to share it with you

6) You know how much I love photography, right?. . . Actually Photohography is one of my passions in this world, What would I do without my Canon? -This camera is my second pair of eyes and best travel friend at the moment, gotta love it even more .Lol

7) Speaking of joy, I cannot leave here without mentioning the beautiful, soulful, special woman Georgianna Lane :Here..

She is one of my most talented Flickr’s friend and a photographer with a huge heart.

8) This beautiful Youtube videoSee for yourself , I found it last week and I am already addicted to it.
9) My daughter Celeste, she is simply the best friend a girl can ever haveLove u girl!!

10)Yoga. . .OOOHMMM! !

A sUmMeR oF gOoD bOoKs 4 mE…

Okay, so I realize that 2 posts in a row about ‘weekends’ may not be all that imaginative after all, sorry!!
Sorry,but Lila is bored and needing to chat…lots!!
Did you hear me sobbing?   I wanted to pop-in, again, to say: have a fab weekend my dear peepers! !
I also wanted to share a bunch of pretty pictures and link that I hope will bring some joy to all of  you
to remind you of how happy you all make me! Really, truly and honestly! (big kiss-catch it!)
Wanted to take this opportunity to  say ‘thank you’ to the so very sweet &
fab  Samandra of “ Kandis Design (blog), who done a fab post all about my work, Because of her generosity I got to know a lot of fab people and get a lot of great feedback when I most needed. She Has become a close and much valued friend and I really appreciate her generosity.Please pop on her blog for a visit and get to know her fab work, I can guarantee you will fall in love with her too.
Click here to visit Her blog: http://kandisdesign.blogspot.com
I am planning a summer of reading….I bought a couple of books yesterday to add to my collection (which was probably more than ample already!)….and made a special “summer bookshelf” today….any recommendations?
As long as it’s not an AA book I will be thankful for any recommendation.. . .Boy, I’m getting seriously bored in Dubai. -Honestly!

How about you, what are your plans for this lovely weekend?


HEY SITSTAHS!! So happy you’ve stopped by. I wasn’t going to write today, but felt lonely and needed to vent my neuras with you guysSorry but knowing that out there in cyber-space, someone cares, make me feel tons better. sign.
 Now for some fun and exciting news, I have the key to our apartment right inside my hand (finally). Halleluiah, we have a homeeeee!!! .Will amuse myself with the task of decorating our new nest. Soooo exciting hum?
If you want to know a little about what I do around here and learn how big of a jack ass I’m by moving out of my paradise. then just keep on reading. LOL
Shopping, aimlessly walking from shopping mall to shopping mall, is not my kind fun any more (.boooooooooring) -Following the latest trends in fashion, make-up colors or fragrance of the moment do not stimulate me as they used to. Brace yourself for the next sentence; I find shopping booooooring!!  Pinch me please; want to check if I’m alive. LOL
Hey, I simply love the feeling of being naked, and walking around with no make-up on. 
Love feeling free from today’s pressures to conform to certain styles or trends .In fact I have no bra on as I write this post now, too hot in here!!-And old habits are hard to kick, right? LOL
So, the br -less Brazilian blogger, armed with a cold glass of champagne and a laptop strikes again with her poor literary prowess. . . as usual.  LoL
You can find me in here or you can find me inside cool bookstores. Almost lost in time and space for hours. 
I can go from one bookstore to another, dreaming with my eyes wide open like a child inside a toy store. Unfortunately Dubai does not have many big bookstores, like New Zealand but I’m happy just the same.
I can hear some of my old shopping-buddies mumbling in horror; this is not our Lila! -No wayyyyyyy!
Well, this is the new me my old friends! This “new person” is a product of long, lonely hours inside a remote island with lots of time to ponder, no shopping malls, no need to dress-up ever and many free hours to meditate, pray and re-discover old core values.
 I did get to know myself well and what’s really taken to make me a happier person. -And what I need to be happy can’t be found inside a shopping mall at all, this much I can tell you. 
Sometimes I do find some joy inside a glass of a cool bubbly champagne. . . a sweet- bad habit acquired by living the Fab life for too long in Maldives. Who needs a drink now?  I know I do!  LOL
But before I go and get wasted off my ass at 5.pm I want to thank you all for stopping bye and reading my ramblings and grumblings regularly. LOL
What else can I do in here to have fun? I can go on fabulous safaris expeditions and take the most amazing pictures, I can go camping in the middle of the Desert and gaze at an open night sky hunting for stars. Do you know that in Dubai itself you will never see stars? never!  Can you imagine a life without seen stars at night? 
To see stars you will have to arrange for special night trips outside Dubai. Sniff, sniff
I can also do special city trips and learn to take amazing architectural shots of skyscrapers.
How about having the most amazing cup of coffee over NERO and enjoy free wireless Internet? -Could never do that in Maldives, hum?
BohooooooWho am I fooling? I need more, much more than just some day trip or stargazing on the Sahara sands to feel at home in here.
I need more freedom that is it! How about giving me back the freedom to use Flicker and other harmless social pages that are blocked in here? That would be a good start for me.I know that we have to respect their laws and moral codes. I intend to do just that myself.
But to loose my freedom of speech is not morally correct. No sir!
I’m certainly feeling the emptiness that moved on my life since I left Maldives, can’t help but miss that blessed place. sign.
I had freedom to talk to my friends and interact with my contacts from Flickrnow all I have is a huge empty gapI did not even get to say goodbye. sign
To be honest, I’m feeling a bit lost and lonely today.
Sure my Manolos, and fabulous lipsticks can get me to some funky fun places, but this is not the life I’ve planed on having for myself. That kind of fun feels empty and worthless after some time. You will also need lots of champagne to keep up with the pumping of the energetic Arabian nights. At my “age” too much of this energetic life can be fatal and a new liver is hard to come by.LOL
 I planned on having fun, yes; Lots of it! Many adventurous travels, lots of love and laugher, to loose myself into my photographic passion like a honeymooner, LoL but also on keeping on re-discovering myself along this long exciting new road.
For what I can see, Dubai is not a place for people like myself maybe, just maybe, I’m completely wrong. Who knows? Will soon find out,won’t I?
But for the moment, being alone with all the time in the world inside here will not get me anywhere, except surrounded by boredom. I have to find something more substantial to occupy my hours and my fertile mind. 
Well, my friends, as you can see I’m already paving the roads for my next 2 years inside here. It will proof to be a challenge bigger than Maldives was to start with. Bring it on with lots of champagne and aspirins, will you?-I ‘m so not ready for it! sign
Believe me when I tell you that my paradise once felt like a prison and today I can see it was a big blessing on my life. Ami an optimistic to think that same could happen again over here? Or is it just a drank talk?
Well .all I need now is a magical flying carpet and I’m ready to start my new journey. Better put some clothes on too or I will be flying to jail. with magical carpet and all( hope with the bubbly too). LOL


Land of the eternal golden sun..

A month in the land of the eternal golden sun, where many Arabian night tales are not so romantic as I use to imagine.  I’m still dreaming of a peaceful heaven, nested in the middle of the India Ocean, and an old rusted bike sitting alone by an old coconut tree. Some people are cut to live in high rises and chase the black gold money that this place has to offer at large. Some people are cut to chase their vanities and their dark instincts, some are moved by cheer ambition for more and more of what they perceive as successand this place is the place for those kinds of people, not for me. Unfortunately I married a man that fits the criteria of the ambition chasers. I have nothing against money, ambitions and big dreams; on the contrary.  Money is good for a purpose, it helps others and us to have more to give and to enjoy more of life’s many pleasurable moments.  A man without drive is like a boat going nowhere; you got to have some ambition and dreams…
 As for me, I do tend to favor life’s free gifs much more as nothing replace kindness and having just what you need to be happy. Why travel heavy when you can only carry a certain amount to the final line?
Life is long and merciless for the poor of spirit and also for the poor of cash. LOL
 You got to find balance to survive today’s crazy world. I, for instances, find balance in nature, in its purity and simplicity. There are no attractions for me in man-made thingsLucky me? I do think so; does not takes much to make me happy and I feel blessed all the time.
You see, with my many years of traveling and living on the “road”, I’ve acquire a unique philosophy that helps me to understand the craziness that surrounds me now and, eventually, survive it
I live simple, I love deeply, I expect nothing in return when I give from my heart, I do smile lots and lots, I feel my feelings with my heart and soul and forgive and forget to be able to move on with the flow of life. My religion is kindness and is almost non judgmental; I’m human after all; allow me to have some faults.  lol
I have, almost, no prejudices; except against prostitution, sex offenders and the ones that take advantages of the human weakness and needs, You could say that I’m a bit judgmental on the subjects above; I make no excuses for it.
You see, my body is the temple of my soul and to use it to have sex for money is a sin bigger than blasphemy. Sex is, and will always be, an act to be performed with love and trust, not a tool for a dirt sinful trade.
I believe that our society will only move on to a higher level when we do away with any kind of human exploitations.
Why am I talking like that? Because now, I’m surrounded by all the conceivable sins you could ever imagine, including prostitution and human exploitation. With the flow of the “easy money” come the greedy and the ones willing to trade their body and soul for it.
This is a land without soul or mercy; beware!
Everyday you open your doors to a dusty sky, to beautiful skyscrapers, and to a golden sun that is merciless at any given time of the day. In here everything have a price including your soul, forget about your principles, or high morals; leave it all at home when coming to live here.
We are all zombies chasing false Gods, with an insatiable hunger for more, is a sad never ending tale of never getting enough and never getting anywhere. Never!
This country is a bigger version of the “American” Las Vegas on a much bigger, bolder and powerful level, Inside here you can also trade your soul and body for money just as easy as brushing your hair and you will never get anything much for both of them.
 Is insane how cheap a human life is in some cultures especially if you are a woman.
Who said that slavery has been abolished? It took another name, tone and nuance but it’s still exists, believe me, I’ve it seen all.
For what I can see from here, the world is going backwards or never moved on.
How do I plan to survive it all while living inside here and still be me?-That is a question that I’ve asked myself everyday for the past month and still scared to answermaybe I won’t be able to survive as after all I’m  free spirit and this is no land for people like myself.
What would be of me without a voice and a soul?
Maybe I will find kind spirited souls and many beauties hidden under the chine veneer of this strange culture. Maybe beauty will prevail and enchant me with its forgotten song like a mermaid on high seas luring the lonely sailor.  After all, we all have to try and be the changes we want to see. We are the ones that will make a difference by being the changes we want to see around us, even small changes can be the start of bigger things to come.
For the moment, I’m dreaming of a better time and a better place to nourish my soul.  Just for the moment I’m taking one day at a timeTomorrow we shell see what tomorrow brings…we shell see.