A miLLiOn PiEcEs Of Me. . .


A million pieces of me . . .
Am I really here enjoying my now or is that my imagination? -Not if I’ve chosen to aim for perfection every single time. As I see, perfection simply robes me of that unique, one&only, chance of having a life . . . a life that is by all means imperfect, it does not have all the good stuff that a “perfect” life should be made off, but nevertheless is a life tailored for my needs right now. What’s wrong with that? Nothing. Simply nothingIt’s just a matter of too many expectations, and sometimes even unrealistic expectations of a life. I often get stuck on the start and the endwhat about the middle? What about the nifty-gritty stuff that gets you from the start to the finish line? I call it the glue in the middle that everyone chooses to forget about, the messy bits that no one likes to talk about. The “middle “ stuff sometimes can be hard to digest, especially for perfectionist people like myself. You see, the last 2 months/6 years, have been a crazy roller coaster for me. I moved home like a gypsy, left beloved people waving at airports more times than I can count, changed my friends more often than my underwear, tossed personal favorites like rubbish . . . Boy I feel like there is no ground under my feet to stand on!.  Nevertheless I’m experiencing a new wave of clarity that is liberating and for some is even inspiring.
I am embracing everything about my life as it is now; the start, the messy and turbulent middle and the end bits. I’m already seeing a way through where I don’t have a hundred lives divided up in a million different pieces of me.
Is not easyis not a smooth road to walk on .I continue to berate myself for errors and pat myself on the back for small victories (not often though). I’m learning to be present to enjoy my life with passion.
So much is “all wrong” now, but I’m here and awake and alive to start fresh and stand up tall every time I happen to fallI’ve chosen the now instead of waiting for tomorrow. You see, Tomorrow may never come to many people Do not forget our mortality and, for that reason alone, now is your best time ever!
The “messy” middle isn’t so bad after all and I’m starting to see a way through . . . where I don’t have to conform to anyone’s high expectations of me, including my ownlol
I am almost at a point were my now is my perfect moment . . . and as for my expectations of tomorrow;  I know  that my  “now” is too important to waste it on planning a “tomorrow’ better to be present and enjoy a life that I have in front of me now.
My life still an unspeakable mess that would send anyone over the edgebut I’m hoping to love it anywayalong with all the people and choices that helped me arrive here . . . just on time. How are you behaving in that “messy middle “ space?  Are you kind to others and to yourself? Where are you  right now? Are you present? If not this is your wake up call my cookies! Wake up! ! !
I’d love to hear what you’ve learned about this in the comments
below.




Lila


xoxo
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